The importance of Bbaug(maj)13

Bbaug(maj)13 prounounced ‘B flat augmented major thirteenth’ is an experience not to be undermined. And it’s a very keyboardist experience as well. Guitarists normally can’t play it. Ooops! Now Bruce will find a way to play it. Anyway, most normal guitarists can’t play it. Cause it’s got 6 different notes and those in the know, know that guitarists can only use 4 fingers to get their notes. Some cheat by using their thumb but we all know where that’ll end up. (No, not the thumb).

Bbaug(maj)13 is a beautiful crunchy chord, replete with innuendo. Innuendo in the sense, that within itself it has many hidden chords. In that sense, it represents to me the wondrous nature of a punny chord. Now I’m not going to Bach about my knowledge, but it’s something that everyone should try!

Here’s to the wondrousness of Bbaug(maj)13…

PS Guitarists actually can play it, but they need a bassist! Hail all bassists!

Creative Sandwiches

Once stuck in a desert, the deserted deserter hungered for something to eat and proceeded to the sand which is there…

I made a sandwich for Luiza the other day. It was simple and to the point. It was a sandwich. Here’s the recipe…

1 badly cut tomato (uneven extremely thick slices)
a cube of cheese 3cm x 3cm x 3cm
too much butter
two pre-cut pieces of bread
mangled slices of cucumber

put the first three items on the bread, in that order. The cucumber has to be forgotten and added in later. Present to the wife. Observe the surprise, the irritation, the exasperation and love on her face. To the question ‘where’s the cucumber?’ act surprised and add it in.

Here’s another

a lot of marmite
some slices of old chicken
pieces of pre-cut bread as required

Eat in any order. After all it’s a creative sandwich…

Any others?…

God’s Blog

The following I write purely from a Christian perspective, so no offense meant anywhere.

I like to think that the Bible is God’s blog. Like a blog it reveals a lot about a person, sometimes more than when you’re with them. Other people come in and comment on it, much like the people who wrote down scripture in response to God’s actions or the action of his people. And of course like a blog it is meant to accesible anywhere.

It’s the more authoritative, older blog.

The newer wacked out virus-infested blog is the church. But he still loves it…

Psycho Vegetables and other food items

Mad vegetables stalk the city!!!

Vegetables that have gone unbalanced in the head! Traumato, Cuckoomber and Potty-tato have caused the city much embarrassment and squirming due to their non-vegetarian desire for Freud eggs. It will take An Eon to sort this out, city officials say. ‘They are Jung and impressionable so it’s difficult to saute them out.’

Strange things have happened. What started out as a healthy relationship between a vegetable and a crustacean has resulted in a Crabbage. Doctors say that the impossible has happened. The media’s role has been criticised. Media Spin, Ache caused. Says the curt government statement.

Mr. Bean has been called into help, in order to avoid further carriots. Police said that within a few days there will be a restoration of Peas.

The Punderous Pun contest

Yup, this is a contest for the longest and most improbable but grammatically correct sentence punning the word pun. Puns should be more or less in the region of English but other languages can be used if there is enough currency. Criteria for longest is basically the most number of puns on pun and no repetition of the same pun.

This is what I came up with.

The punter at the pun-indian convention, punderously punned his way, punishing with punache and punch, the puny pundits, who punitatively expunged, his need to punder to his punny instincts

That’s 13

race, racism, racial prejudice

some of us are racists, all of us are racially prejudiced

it’s the simple truth brought home to me starkly by my marriage to a white Britisher. I thought that Indians with their multi-ethnic, multi-racial identities would be immune but nope I’m wrong. Politically correct Britian is as bad. The prejudice exists deep within us, a sign of the brokenness of humanity.

In India everyone expects my wife to be rich, American, and to have no family values. They also assume that she’s completely ignorant of Indian culture, but they know everything of hers. In England I’m always praised for my ‘good English’ and am slightly condescendingly treated.

Don’t get me wrong these people aren’t racists. They are good people trying to make conversation, and in some cases genuinely wishing to make a relationship. But the prejudice exists; fed by sensuous, prejudicial media, stirred up by right wing politicians, reinforced by racist jokes; and more scarily something that exists deep within us: the exclusion of the other.

People laugh this off. But Bosnia, Sri Lanka, London, Los Angeles, and Belfast are all signs of this horror at work. The book ‘Exclusion and Embrace’ by Miroslav Volf is the brilliant treatise on this, so I’m not saying anything new.

But for me the sad thing is when we Indians speak of all whites as colonisers, and whenever a band does Western music or something that is Western, they’re said to be ‘licking white arse.’ I was at an independence day celebration the other day and it was proudly announced that ‘our culture is superior to others’. Constantly the refrain was made to the British pillaging and raping our nation. It just shows the lack of maturity in our perception of our history. What about our own desi rapists and looters? The claim that one culture is superior than others is one that the Nazis used with devastating consequences.

Consistently newspapers report the ignorance, the silliness and the stupidness of ‘foreigners’. And consistently anything English and Western is considered anti-Indian. Our behaviour as a society shows otherwise. Surely India’s greatness doesn’t lie in rubbishing the West. Don’t we have something more intrinsic in our nation to subscribe to?

My thoughts and concerns arise not only from my marriage to a Westerner. My new baby daughter is going to face racial prejudice wherever she is. Probably a bit less in London though. We’ll just have to teach her to be strong and sure in who she is. Because I can’t change prejudice.