I’ve been standing just beyond the light of my past staring into the darkness. Now I feel as though I could be entering it.
Music has been a presence through my life. I had many brilliant opportunities, to play with some of the best, to be great friends with the great people, to travel, laugh and to enter many different worlds. Over the last few years though I’ve hated music. I just couldn’t listen to the damn thing. The music in the churches I attended was the worst time of the week. I dreaded it, relieved when the last faltering chord was played.
Then I managed to do the Lent Project. It allowed me to try new things. It allowed me to think anew. I felt I was on the move again. And I’ve put in an application to do a music course. But I have no idea where I’m going. I don’t feel God is there. I have no idea how any of the ideas I have are going to hit the ground. But I’m grateful. I have people who support me. I’m not sure whether they’ll be with me in the darkness. I’m not sure whether God is at the end of the darkness. Maybe God is the darkness I’m entering.